It seems more people miss my daily blogs than I initially imagined. Just yesterday, no less than two unrelated people told me that they miss my blogs (and no, it's not the people from this post). I was really starting to think that nobody even noticed I was gone.
You see, I'm in a funk.
There, I said it.
I blogged every weekday for three years straight, with the exception of a holiday here and there. I blogged right through everything; my first book, my pregnancy and second book, and through the first year of my child's life. I shared a lot of my soul here, for everyone to read, and somehow, people kept reading. I loved writing this blog. I loved it so much that I couldn't ever imagine stopping.
Maybe I'm a weak person, you know? Maybe that's it. Because when people started to criticise me and my blog, I started to pull back more of myself. When the people started to tell me my blog was losing its spark, I listened. I asked you what you wanted and people answered. And then I changed everything.
I changed everything.
And THAT'S why I'm in this funk. I feel like I'm lost at sea. I wake up in the morning, realise I haven't blogged and I panic, only to realise, "Wait, I don't need to blog today, because I don't do that anymore." Then I calm down and go on. I miss blogging. I do. I just have that 'why bother' thing going on at the moment.
A while ago someone told that my blog had lost it's 'Yolandie-ness'; that thing that made it mine.
That was an eye opener. Some people want me to post fabulous original photos, amazing tutorials and great ideas, but some people just want that quirky thing that I do. Is that even possible? My mind gets blown by the idea everytime I think about it.
It also made me realise something; I just want to write. I don't care much for the smoke and mirrors, or glitter and glamour (if I can put it that way). I don't need stunning photos and flashy banners to accompany my blogs, because I just want to write. I don't need well thought out makeup or nail tutorials because people told me that's what they wanted, because I just want to write. I don't need to blog about the trends and the red carpet events as they happen, BECAUSE I JUST WANT TO WRITE.
More shocking even is this realisation. You just want to read.
So thank you to the family and friends who have been nagging at me to blog again. This time, I'm listening to the right people. I'm not saying I'll be back every day, I'm just saying I'll try to be here more often. I'm still in that funk, and I'm clawing my way out of it. They say the first step to recovery is admitting the problem. So let's see if that's true. :)
And you, thank you for sticking around. Sticking around made a difference in my life.
On a related note, I uploaded a post to my other blog yesterday. It's a first look at the map of the Capitol, if you're interested. Click here.